


Siblings

by the_sinnamon_roll_writes



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst with a Happy Ending, Evil Matt, Hurt Matt, Hurt Pidge | Katie Holt, Hurt/Comfort, I don't actually like killing characters off though, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Character Death, No Incest, Pidge is okay she lives, Pidge | Katie Holt Angst, Pidge | Katie Holt Whump, happyish at least, lemme know if there's something I missed!, not that kind of abuse, so it's up to you if he makes it or not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:55:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24078598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_sinnamon_roll_writes/pseuds/the_sinnamon_roll_writes
Summary: I got a request for some evil Matt and some Pidge whump so... have some evil Matt and Pidge whump! Do be aware, Matt is a very bad guy in this. There's talk of sibling abuse, and denial here, so if that's something that might be triggering, please take care of yourself and skip this one <3 However, if you're like me and enjoy reading things where abusers get their comeuppance, then thisisa good one for you.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 32





	Siblings

Pidge had once given her teammates (namely, Lance) blanket permission to say ‘I told you so’ if she ever got something wrong. So far, it hadn’t ever been an issue. She was always careful in choosing her words, making sure she had all the facts and had reached the best logical conclusion before saying anything. Safe to say, she wasn’t exactly accustomed to getting things wrong. 

And she was honestly sick and tired of the looks her teammates shared after she said anything about Matt when they thought she wasn't watching. 

(She couldn’t see what they saw. She didn’t hear Shiro and Keith admit to the others that Matt had been a bit of an asshole on the occasions that they had been around him. She was too far lost in the golden glow that surrounded one’s childhood that seemed to soften the bad and brighten the good, that still allowed her to look up to her brother like a little sibling should.)

When she told them about the time they’d been arguing and he’d knocked her down into their family’s fireplace and broken her nose, they’d all stared at her like she’d grown a second head. To her, it had just been roughhousing that had gotten a bit too rough. 

When she told them he’d pushed her into a frozen lake one time (he’d claimed it was an accident, despite how he had laughed at how she’d clawed at the shoreline to drag herself out), she’d heard Lance and Hunk muttering later about how different that was from their siblings. To her, it had just been a prank gone wrong. 

She tried not to let it bother her, she really did. But it was aggravating, seeing them judge Matt when they didn’t see the whole picture. There were moments when he was a good brother. Those were the moments when Pidge knew she was seeing her _real_ older brother. Granted, they were rather few and far between, but there was no shortage of excuses for that. And for why he was so hard on her the rest of the time. 

Honestly though, she didn’t feel she should have to give them those excuses. At the end of the day, her family was her family, and as much as she cared for her team, she preferred to keep a separation there. The Holts were a rather private bunch, after all. 

Besides, it wasn’t like he beat her or anything like that. Siblings played boisterously all the time- a bruise here and there wasn’t anything significant. And she _had_ been an obnoxious kid when she was younger, so if she’d earned a few extra whacks, then she probably deserved it. (And of course, she was so young before Matt had left, she hadn’t even known sibling relationships _could_ be considered abusive.)

Pidge was a smart person. The truth really should have been more obvious. 

Unfortunately, it came clear to her at probably the worst time imaginable. 

•••

She had to admit; she probably wasn’t paying as much attention to her work as she should’ve been. She was supposed to be downloading information and uploading it straight to the Castle- which she _was._ It was just that her mind didn’t want to focus on the task at hand and had gone on autopilot. Not that she really _needed_ to focus anyway- she could break into Galran computers and fuck shit up in her sleep at this point. The act itself had long since lost its thrill. (When she thought about it though, she would admit that these computers and machinery were eons more advanced than anything she was used to on Earth. She didn’t relish having to go back and get re-accustomed to the slower technology once they returned). So her mind wandered as she worked. 

Or rather, it did until she heard the clear sound of footsteps growing louder in the hall behind her. 

Pidge stiffened and listened harder; she could only make out one set of footsteps. That was good. On the off-chance that she couldn’t beat them, she could at least hold one off until her teammates arrived. But she was quick and clever, and she stood a fair chance of winning without any help. 

Adopting a defensive stance, Pidge turned her attention entirely to the door. Her work was almost done, and it was all moving forward on its own at this point. 

_‘You’ve got this Pidge. Nothing you haven't done a dozen times before,’_ she thought gruffly to herself as she mentally prepared. 

Then the door slid open with a soft hiss, and she tensed instinctively as whoever it was stepped inside. (She’d considered locking it when she’d gotten here, but had decided against it, figuring that if this exact situation _did_ happen, it would be better for a guard to walk into a trap rather than risk having them call for help to open the door.)

The figure she was looking at was slim and lanky, with a mop of messy brown hair on his head. A very familiar brown- her shade of brown. 

And their mother’s. 

She almost couldn’t believe her eyes when they took a step inside and revealed a face she could’ve drawn from memory. It also bore an uncanny similarity to her own face. It was one of two people she had spent the last God-only-knows how long searching for. 

Against her better instincts, Pidge let out a cry of joy when she saw none other than Matthew Holt walk in. She wanted nothing more than to throw herself into her big brother’s arms for an enthusiastic hug. The only thing stopping her was the weapon still glowing in her hand- best not to risk accidentally hurting Matt. 

The second her bayard was put away, Pidge was rushing towards him, happy tears threatening to spill from her eyes. 

Things started going wrong when she was within arms reach of him. 

To her shock, instead of hugging her, Matt stopped her dead in her tracks when he seized her by the chin and angled her face up to meet his gaze. She stilled, the instinct to jerk away at war with the part of her brain that said Matt was no danger to her. He was silent as he looked her over, and it was impossible to tell what he was thinking. She’d always had trouble reading him. 

“Matt... what are you doing?” Pidge asked quietly, her eyes wide as she stared at her brother. 

“Can’t I look over my bounty?”

“Wha- _bounty?”_ She did jerk away at that, stepping back but keeping her eyes fixed on Matt’s face. “Bounty for _whom?”_

“For the Galra. As soon as I learned who the Green Paladin was, I told them I could get you for them.” He said it as casually as though he were discussing the weather. “I’ll split it with you, if you come with me willingly.”

“What are you talking about?” Pidge demanded. “I’m not going over to them. Why the hell would I?”

“I’m just picking the winning side, Katie,” Matt replied simply. “There’s no way an empire of this size can be defeated- best to stand with them instead of against them. I’d rather be seen as an ally to them, wouldn’t you?”

“No- no! That’s... Matt, I’ve seen what they do, they’re _evil!_ They’ll either enslave or kill the entire universe if they aren’t stopped!”

“They show mercy to the smart ones who willingly submit to them. I intend to be one of those smart ones when they’ve finished their expansion. You could be too, you know.”

“There’s a resistance force out there though, fighting against them. And Voltron. We have a chance to defeat them. Don’t you think we should take it?” Pidge was slowly feeling less bewildered and more betrayed with every passing second. 

“You've always tried to be as smart as me, haven’t you? Then listen to me when I say the smart thing to do would be to join their side and help to spread their glory. The Green Paladin and Lion could do a lot for them. I mean, the Green Lion is about as low on the totem pole as you can get, if you know what I mean. But one is better than nothing, even if it is just _you._ I’m sure you’ll be well taken care of. They’d treat you like royalty, if you willingly sided with them,” Matt encouraged. He’d brushed over her words of revolution with all the care one would treat a toddler’s babbling. 

Pidge had to fight off a shudder when she felt Matt’s coaxing hands land on her shoulders. “You’re right, I did. I’ve always wanted to be like you,” she whispered. She hadn’t _meant_ to whisper. She was just having a hard time projecting what she was thinking. “I’ve always looked up to you. I came out here to find you.”

The smile on his face absolutely broke her heart. There was a time when seeing it directed at her would’ve made her day. Now...

Now she knew better. That smile, as hard as it was to face, didn’t mean anything good for her. And it had taken far too long for her to realize that. 

“That was your own mistake. You can do the smart thing now that you’re here though.”

“Sometimes it’s better to do the right thing than the smart thing, Matt.”

“Oh Katie. That was the wrong choice.” Matt sounded so convincingly sad that she almost believed it. But there was amusement in his eyes that betrayed his feelings- he knew what she was going to say. Which meant he had planned for the possibility that she would refuse. Pidge knew her brother well enough to know that he wouldn’t let her near without a backup plan. 

She realized a minute too late that his hands were still on her shoulders. 

Before she knew it, she felt his arms move down to grab at her, and then she was being thrown across the room, smashing hard into a wall. She crumpled to the ground, momentarily stunned by the impact. “Ugh... Matt? What are-?”

A mechanical _click,_ and Pidge realized that he had locked the only door into the room, so there was no chance to get out easily. He started to meander toward her, slowly but with confidence. The smirk on his face was chilling. Instead of stopping when he reached her though, he continued on to the control panel where she had been working and began to dismantle everything she’d done. 

Why was this happening? She was still a little dazed from hitting the wall so hard, but she knew that she couldn’t let him do whatever it was he was planning. “Matt, stop, you don’t know what you’re doing!”

“I know exactly what I’m doing,” he said, forcing open the panel and tugging out a fist full of the wires she had just installed only minutes beforehand. It felt like an entire lifetime ago. 

“No! Matt, please don’t do this.” She had pushed herself to her feet when she began to move over to him. But she unintentionally froze when he lifted his gaze to look at her again with his unsettling smile. When had it become unsettling? Pidge’s heart sank when she thought back on all the times he had smiled at her- had it ever once _actually_ been any kind of comforting? “Why-”

Pidge cut herself off, already knowing damn well why. 

He answered the unfinished question anyway. 

“Someone had to blow this shit heap up before you got everything you needed. We’d thought you probably would’ve tripped one of the little surprises I added to these with one of your little hacks. But we didn’t want to wait any longer for you to fuck things up, so here I am.”

Pidge didn’t like the sounds that were starting to come out of the giant computer. She had to think of a way to get him away from her work. “Matt, come on, stop it, please. I don’t want to hurt you! Just step away from there!”

“Go ahead and try. I’m not- oof!” He grunted as Pidge charged into him and knocked him down a few feet away. 

She didn’t wait for him to stand up before she turned her attention to the computer and set to work trying to repair whatever he had done. She nearly froze when she realized he had been in the middle of initiating a kind of self-destruct mechanism that she had managed to avoid in her work. 

_Fortunately,_ it looked like she had tackled him before he’d actually set anything in motion. 

_Unfortunately_ she didn’t get very far in reversing what he did and reinstating what she’d been downloading before she felt a sharp pain in her thigh. With a cry out, she looked down to see a dagger stuck a little less than an inch into her upper leg. Where the hell did that come from? Matt was standing in front of her again, and shoved her back to the ground, yanking it out as she fell. Anxiously, she scooted back, trying to comprehend what was happening. Matt had hurt her before, but never- never quite like this. Never with such obvious malicious intent. 

Pidge whimpered. As the reality of the situation grew more dire, she was experiencing more and more unpleasant moments of jarring lucidity as she struggled to make sense of it all. 

“Look Katie, there’s only one way to stop me, and we both know you can’t do it. You’re just too weak,” he said with a cold laugh. “And now you and all the others are going to pay the price for that.”

No way was she going to take that lying down. Pidge forced herself back up, shaking a bit when she leaned on her wounded leg. _‘Shake it off,’_ she thought to herself, _‘now's not the time to worry about that. It doesn’t hurt **that** bad.’_ In fact, she was already almost able to ignore it. It wasn’t life threatening, and she couldn’t let it slow her down. 

“Matt, just stop and let’s talk this through.”

“There’s nothin’ to talk through though. Do you have any idea how pathetic you are Katie?” he asked. His voice was low and dangerous, and it made Pidge step back away. She lost her footing, and her bad leg nearly buckled under her once again. It was more from anxiety this time, rather than pain. “I mean, I know I’ve told you before, but has it actually stuck yet? You do everything just to impress your older brother. and yet, you’ve failed at every point in your little mission to find us. Dad is dead now thanks to you.”

No. It couldn’t be. “W-what do you mean?”

“I mean our dad is dead, and it’s because you weren’t fast enough to get to him, Katie!”

“You don’t know that!” It was a lie. It had to be. He was just trying to get in her head. Every time he said ‘Katie’ felt like a punch in her stomach. The amount of contempt and disdain in his voice was painful. 

“Yes I do. I saw him die myself. They didn’t do anything with his body. They just threw it in a hole with a thousand other rotting corpses. You should’ve _smelled_ it.”

“N-no. I would know if he was dead, I would-”

“What, you’d feel it? In your _heart of hearts?_ Pathetic. You know that means nothing, and if you don’t, then you’re even stupider than I thought.”

She kept backing up until she hit a wall. He continued walking towards her. “Stay back.”

“You’re just like some annoying little dog that follows me around everywhere. Trying to be just like your older brother. You never could be, you know. You’ll always be ten steps behind me.” 

He was only a short distance away from her now, so she grabbed for her bayard and held it up in front of herself shakily. “Matt, please, I don’t want to hurt you. Just stay back!”

Matt stopped a minute and cocked his head. “And why would I do that? This is what I want. This is my choice, and I can’t lie, I look forward to it. You’ve always been nothing but a nuisance, it’s about time I get rid of you.” He was almost right in front of her when he stopped again and held his wicked looking dagger aloft. “I’m handing you over to the Galra one way or another, dead or alive. It’s you or me Katie, and you’re too much of a wuss to take me out. Let’s just make this quick and easy.”

“No!” She forced herself up against the wall. He was still taller than she was, but at least now she could feel a bit more dignified standing than sitting. Not that it really mattered. What mattered was stopping Matt. “Come on, _please,_ you don’t have to do this. Just talk to me and let me help you.”

“Help? Look at you, you can’t even help yourself. I don’t need you. You might as well have stayed on Earth for all you’ve done.”

Good god, he was hitting everywhere it hurt the most. She would have to fight him, maybe even hurt him. If it went further than that...

He had her at a disadvantage; he was uninjured, working with a longer, sharper blade, and apparently nothing holding him back. Meanwhile she had a hole in her leg that was aching up a storm, the small blade on her bayard, and a mind that was screaming at her not to harm her brother. But she didn’t have a choice. Somehow, that didn’t make her feel better about what was about to happen. 

Gritting her teeth, Pidge took a fighting pose, firmly grounding herself and raising her arms in front of her defensively. Matt’s grin widened as he mirrored her. 

Then he made the first move. 

He lunged toward her, aiming his knife straight at her chest, leaving his stomach and torso vulnerable. She took a chance, dodging down and striking up at his diaphragm. When he stumbled back, Pidge straightened up and punched his jaw hard enough to whip his head around at a ninety degree angle. He dropped down to one knee, and for a second, she hoped that that had been enough to stop him. 

But of course it wasn’t. 

After a very brief pause, Matt swung his other leg out rapidly and knocked Pidge’s legs out from under her. The rapid movement sent both their weapons sliding along the floor away from them. And so it turned into an all-out, hand to hand fight. The sound of skin hitting skin, noses crunching, and ripping scratches filled the room. She may be tough, but Matt had done some considerable bulking up in his time in space. If she wanted to beat him, she would need her bayard. 

She had to get it back. 

Right after she had to roll away from the knife flying down at her face. Son of a bitch, where did he get the chance to find that? She had eyes on her weapon halfway across the room and went scampering after it, all too aware of Matt right at her back. Every move she made sent a wave of pain down her leg, and she was so tired- Pidge blinked in surprise when her bayard suddenly materialized in her hand. Her grip tightened on it, too caught up in the moment to be excited over having summoned her bayard from a distance. There wasn’t time for that distraction right now. She spun around just in time to see Matt looming over her, dagger aloft and ready to fly right down into her chest. 

Without thinking, Pidge shut her eyes and thrust her small weapon forward as hard as she could at the very same time he brought his down. She felt his blade hit the top of her right shoulder and slice down to the bone, causing her to scream. (Granted, she was fairly scrawny, so there wasn’t much flesh to cut through. It still hurt though.) Somewhere in her mind, she registered that her bayard had run into something soft. Then she heard a choked cry, and felt a splash of liquid running over her hand and down her wrist. She was suddenly all too aware of the coppery scent and sticky warmth of blood. 

She was terrified to open her eyes, but she had to know what she had done. Slowly, one eye cracked open, then the other. And there was Matt. Hands clamped down on his stomach to try and stem the copious amounts of blood pouring out of his body as he dropped to his knees in front of her. He looked more surprised than anything. 

If he was a Galran, she could’ve finished him off then and there with a quick slice of her bayard. 

But he wasn’t a Galran. It was Matt. And even if he had just attacked and tried to kill her, she couldn’t bring herself to deliver the final blow. Judging by the way he was hunching over and growing increasingly quiet, it was clear he wasn’t going to be following her anyway. So she forced herself to turn around and took one step away. 

Then another. 

And another. 

Soon enough she had reached door- her reason for originally coming here had been entirely forgotten. 

She staggered into the doorway, unwilling to wait and see if he was okay or not _(he was okay, he betrayed her, he deserved it, he had to be okay),_ telling herself over and over that it didn’t matter _(it did, it didn’t, it mattered so much, it didn’t matter at all)_ and that she needed to get away from him _(he’s evil, he’s your brother, he’ll hurt you again, he’s your **brother** )._

If he died, he died. _(If he dies, you get to explain to mom and dad that you killed him.)_

She couldn’t let herself care about it. _(She cared. She cared so much it hurt.)_

Pidge wasn’t sure how she’d managed to open the mechanical lock, but somehow she must have. She’d just made it through the door and a few paces into the hallway when she heard even more footsteps approaching.

_‘No, no, no, I can’t take it, I can’t fight right now, not after all that, not with Matt behind me, not when I don’t know if he’s-’_

Her mind raced as she tried to think of what to do around the pain she was in. Desperation had her spinning back around to the room Matt was currently lying in. 

Lying face down in a pool of blood. 

Pidge fell over to lean against the doorway, her eyes squeezed shut once again. At this point, if she was caught, then she was caught. She was too utterly exhausted (physically and emotionally) to care about much of anything. 

“Pidge!” 

Three voices called out her name simultaneously, and Pidge flinched. Wait. How would enemy soldiers know her name? There was only one explanation; these weren’t enemy soldiers. Tears were streaming down her face and blurring her vision as she sensed bodies approaching her and made out several shapes growing in size in the reflective machinery in front of her. Her chest was heaving as she struggled to catch her breath.

And then suddenly her team was surrounding her. She felt arms circle her shoulders, and she gratefully fell back into the chest behind her. The reality of the situation began to really set in, and she couldn’t keep herself from curling to the side so she didn’t have to look back at Matt. Her hands came up to clutch at one of the arms around her in a shaky grasp. It was metal, and for once she was actually glad Shiro had a prosthetic so she could dig her nails in without worrying about hurting him. Several pairs of hands were gently rubbing her back and shoulders, and she appreciated the support and affection she was being shown. She wanted to say so, but all that ended up coming out when she opened her mouth was a strangled choking sound that quickly gave way to heavy sobs. 

Pidge was only standing with the help of her teammate’s hands supporting her. Although a very small part of her was starting to feel closed-in on and wanted them to _please stop touching me please,_ she recognized that if they did, she would very quickly be rendered a useless weepy mess on the floor. And, admittedly, a larger part of her was appreciating the show of support. So for once, she let them hold her. 

It was hard to say how long they all stood there together, but they all knew it was too long. Every moment they spent there was a moment they risked someone approaching them, and that was something they all would‘ve liked to avoid. 

“We n-need to g-g-go,” Pidge finally managed to stammer out, still resolutely keeping her eyes away from any of the faces around her. “I dunno if he- if he’s gonna get back up. But I c-can’t be here if he d-does. _We_ can’t be here.”

“Why- oh.” Hunk bit his tongue as he realized the implications of what she had just said. Given the context clues and her overall tone, they were all able to put together a general idea of what had happened. 

“We’re leaving him?” Lance asked uncertainly. “After everything you’ve-?”

“Yes.” She didn’t say anything further, just shoved herself around and ran smack into Shiro’s firm build with an _oof!_ Pidge looked up to meet his concerned gaze and fought to arrange her face into a scowl. It didn’t want to cooperate. 

“Do you need help moving?” he asked softly. 

Pride told her to say no, but common sense was telling her to say yes. Although physically speaking she probably could’ve handled it, she was so thoroughly exhausted that the thought of moving was actively repulsing her. So she nodded rather begrudgingly, and forced herself to climb up onto Shiro’s back and allow him to carry her piggyback. To be quite honest, she didn’t really want to walk anyways. She was tired and sad and not looking forward to having to explain all of this to everyone. Didn’t want to tell them they were all right about everything, that her idol was, to put things nicely, an absolute dick. And that she had just fought tooth and nail with said idol. 

As one unit, team Voltron hurried toward their destination, Hunk and Lance bringing up the front and rear while Keith and Shiro kept an extremely close (and unwarranted) ear out for Pidge on his back. 

It really had been a bad day. With an exhausted sigh, Pidge allowed her head to fall forward and rest on the space between Shiro’s neck and shoulders. The older man stiffened, nearly tripping over his own feet at the sudden, unexpected touch. Maybe she was more injured than he had realized. “Pidge? You still with us?”

“I’m fine, Shiro. Just... tired.” Her voice was clear in its reply and that went a long way to calm Shiro’s mind. He had a feeling she wasn’t just tired because of her latest battle scars. His heart broke when he felt warm tears start dripping down onto his shoulder and cooling quickly upon touching his skin. 

He took her word for it, and continued moving forward at a quick, steady pace. “What sort of injuries do you have?”

“Lots of bruises. Cut on my shoulder, puncture on my leg. Nothing dangerous, it’s all started clotting. The bleeding from my leg had almost stopped when you guys arrived.” Granted, it was probably bleeding again, given all the jostling. Her word’s came out slightly muffled by Shiro’s collar, but they were able to make it out easily enough. It was good that she was able to catalog them so clearly- it demonstrated a level of awareness that did much in the way of soothing Shiro’s concerns. 

She spent several more minutes sniffing and trying to get herself back under control. Trying to ignore the sorrow (why should she feel sorrow? She hadn’t _really_ lost anything, had she?), the betrayal (was it _really_ betrayal if she should’ve seen it coming?), and the pain (so much more than just physical, she hurt on so many levels). Trying to give herself over to the numbness of acceptance. 

Trying to shut up the little voice in the back of her head that kept mocking her for her ineptitude. It sounded, she realized with a small huff, almost exactly like Matt. 

It was with that realization that all the despair drained out of her and left her in a rather dazed state. The bad feelings would be back, likely as soon as she was still and able to process things a bit more, but for right now she was numb, and that was okay. She closed her eyes and buried her face deeper into Shiro’s shoulder in a pathetic attempt to shut out the rest of the universe. 

She remained that way for the duration of the piggy-back ride. She couldn’t even bring herself to look up when she realized they had entered the Castle. It just didn’t seem worth the effort. 

Her eyes didn’t open until Shiro set her down on a table, and she watched him turn around to look at her. The others had apparently been running along with them the entire time, as they were all there around her. The concern in Shiro’s face was mirrored in everyone else’s. 

It was concern for _her._ They were all scared for her, because she was hurting. When had Matt ever shown concern for her like what she was seeing right now? Never. _This_ was what it was like to be cared for by siblings. 

“Pidge... what happened? After all that time you spent looking, why would you let him go?” Shiro’s question was innocent enough, and it certainly came from a place of solicitude. It wasn’t accusatory in the slightest. And perhaps that’s what pushed her over the edge. 

Pidge’s face crumpled, even as she struggled not to let it. It was almost painful, watching her fight to keep her breathing in check and to not cry. She failed miserably. Her tears returned, falling harder this time, and soon became painful sobs that aggravated her injured shoulder. She didn’t care. She’d been so unbearably _stupid_ she could hardly believe it. So determinedly blind it had nearly cost her her life. “I’m sorry, I tried- I didn’t want to- he m-made me-” she was dragging in ragged gasps of air between words. The tightness in her chest didn’t help at all.

“It’s okay, Pidge, you don’t have to talk. You don’t owe us any explanation,” Allura was quick to say, standing beside her and placing a comforting hand on her knee. 

“I mean, we’d _like_ one, for sure but-”

At the same time, multiple exasperated voices said _“Lance!”_ loudly enough to interrupt Pidge’s tears and draw out a hiccuping laugh. She was back to crying all too soon though, much to everyone’s dismay. 

Coran walked in just then, to find Allura and Hunk sitting at Pidge’s sides, both with their arms wrapped around her shoulders. Lance, Keith, and Shiro had formed a semi-circle around her. The elder Altean approached them slowly as he took in the atmosphere of the room. His trained eyes scanned over the youngest Paladin for her injuries, quickly coming to the conclusion that they weren’t what was bothering her. She wasn’t the type to break down over battle wounds that weren’t life-threatening. Something had happened out there then. Coran’s heart sank. Cuts and bruises healed easily- emotional scars not so much. 

Although he was curious, Coran managed to avoid asking questions. It was a delicate moment; it wouldn’t do for him to go making it worse by making them relive whatever happened right now. He had a feeling he knew what it was generally about- Pidge usually only for upset when her family was involved. Logically, since the rest of the team was alive and well and surrounding her, Coran had to assume that something had happened regarding her brother or father. 

With a weary sigh, Coran gently nudged Shiro and Keith apart so he could approach Pidge and take care of her. “Hello, number five. What are we looking at?”

She didn’t look overly interested in saying anything. “Shoulder. L-leg. Those’re the worst of it. Only places that need attention.” Pidge hiccuped halfway through her sentence, and that served only to rend Coran’s heart even further. 

Well, he wasn’t doing her any good just standing there. Coran hurried about getting the supplies he needed- he just got a basic first aid kit, it seemed like that would suffice- and walked back to her. 

The Altean took great care in dressing her injuries, cleaning them thoroughly and gently applying a pain-relieving salve before bandaging them up firmly. 

He worked in relative silence. No one said a word at first as Coran took care of Pidge. There really wasn’t much to say. 

As Coran fussed, Pidge took a deep breath and opened her mouth. “He was on their side. He said he was going to collect a bounty on me, and that he’d split it with me if I went willingly. Y’know, trying to get me to turn on Voltron. Said that the Galra could use someone like me fighting for them. He said that I- that I wasn’t as g-good as any of you, but that I was better than nothing.” She had to pause to swallow hard, but then soldiered on. She was glad that she’d decided to do this now- she could pretend it was just Coran tending her injuries causing her voice to thicken. “I said no. So he attacked me. We fought, we both got in a few lucky shots. But in the end...”

Of course it was Hunk who couldn’t resist asking. “Did he make it?”

“I don’t know.” Pidge answered as Coran applied one last piece of tape to the bandage over her shoulder. She didn’t elaborate further. She didn’t have to. 

It had only taken a few minutes for Coran to be satisfied with his administrations. But listening to Pidge’s story made it feel like it took ages. When she fell silent, and the last bandage was secured around her shoulders and torso, Coran stepped back and looked her up and down appraisingly. 

“You really ought to go in a pod, number five,” he finally said softly, despite having already worked so hard on bandaging her. He chose not to comment on her story- what was there to say? Best to take care of what he could _actually_ do something about. 

“Do I have to?” Pidge disliked the healing pods; she made absolutely no secrets about that. But this time was different. Strangely enough, this time it wasn’t the cold, claustrophobic, sensory-depriving hellscape that was turning her off. She wanted the scars this was going to leave, not to be left with flawless skin after a stay in a healing pod. Sick as it was, it was almost like the last thing Matt had given her, and she didn’t really want to part with it. 

“Well, it would accelerate the healing process-”

“Coran, do I _have_ to? Will I die if I don’t?”

The old Altean shook his head. “No, Pidge, you won’t die. Barring some sort of infection, these wounds should all heal up eventually on their own.”

“Then don’t make me. Please?” Her voice was small but clear as she spoke, making it as obvious as she could that she was lucid enough to be making that decision. 

Coran glanced over at the others with raised eyebrows. When no one objected, he nodded and offered a hand to help her down from the table she’d been sitting on. Although she managed not to fall, she did sway when her feet landed on the floor. 

“I’m going to go to my room,” she said quietly. To everyone’s confusion, she remained rooted in place. It almost looked like Pidge was confused as well- she was staring down at her feet with a frown, like she couldn’t work out why they weren’t moving. 

It was then that Allura chimed in. “Perhaps we should all retire to the lounge? I’m sure we could all use a bit of wind-down time.”

That was met almost immediately with nods of agreement from everyone, including Pidge. It was only then that she moved, going along with the surge of her teammates. 

They had a tradition, whenever one of them endured something particularly traumatic, or when the feeling of homesickness grew to be too much. They’d gather as a group somewhere- usually in the lounge, as it had plenty of room and soft surfaces for them to get comfortable in- and essentially flop down together and, for lack of a better word, cuddle with each other. The gentle, reassuring touch could be an effective foil to those nasty feelings that were all too easily able to take root in the mind and spread. Being surrounded by the team, by people who cared, was therapeutic in an overall atmosphere of violence and distancing from others. 

Admittedly, they would dogpile on occasion even when nothing was wrong. Humans were, after all, pack animals, and it had turned out that Alteans were too. Contact was required to remain healthy, so they all determinedly made it happen. 

Sure enough, Pidge seemed to relax once they all collapsed together, everyone touching. There was several minutes of rustling wherein they all got comfortable- Pidge ended up on her side, facing Allura while mostly lying in Lance’s lap. Shiro was behind her, and her legs were somehow tangled comfortably with Keith’s and Hunk’s. (A quick glance down revealed that Keith and Hunk were in a similar position as she and Lance, just flipped around. Coran was sitting cross-legged behind Allura- he always seemed to feel awkward in these situations, despite everyone encouraging him to participate.) 

She was calmed even further when Shiro’s hand started rubbing her back. Lance was carefully petting her hair, while Allura held one of her hands and stroked her thumb across her knuckles. The princess’s other hand ran up and down her arm gently. The sensation of being loved by her team was a soothing balm over the emotional trauma she had just gone through. 

“‘M sorry guys.” Pidge seemed to be having a difficult time with phrasing whatever it was she was apologizing for. “I should’ve listened to you all about him. You tried to tell me he was bad news, but I ignored it. I didn’t want to see him for what he was: a bad person and an even worse brother.” She sniffed rather heavily at that point and curled up, cuddling even closer into the warm body beside her. 

“No one wants to admit someone in their family is a bad guy,” Shiro rationalized gently from behind her. “Especially when they were as young as you were when you were growing up with Matt. We don’t blame you for it. Or for what happened.”

Pidge hummed noncommittally. They could say that all they liked, it didn’t mean she wasn’t responsible for the (possible) killing blow. 

“You were just defending yourself, Pidge,” Lance said quietly, as though reading her mind. “Like you said, he made you. You didn’t have any other choice.”

That was the point she needed to cling to. She’d had no choice. It had been no different than any other fight with a Galra-aligned foe. Fight or be captured. Kill or be killed. The logical thing to do was obvious. Pidge sighed internally. Sometimes logic could be a real bitch. 

At least now she didn’t need to concern herself with searching through every record she could get her hands on to find him. She knew where Matt was (or at least, where he stood), and she knew she never wanted to see him again, alive or dead. 

Pidge blinked back tears again as she looked around herself. It was easier to keep them at bay this time, she realized. As miserable as she had felt, losing Matt, she took great comfort in knowing she wasn’t alone. 

She still had these siblings. The ones who cared about her. And not a single one of them said ‘I told you so’.

**Author's Note:**

> Look, I'm an absolute whore for platonic cuddling. Also, fun fact: my sister actually broke my nose when I was younger. I don’t actually remember all that much about it, since I was like, 3, but I was climbing on a chair that she was in and when she tried to get me off, she accidentally knocked me off into the fireplace. It genuinely was an accident though. I still give her a hard time about it, twenty years later.
> 
> Anyway, kudos are greatly appreciated, comments even more so!
> 
> If you'd like to request something or just say hi, I'm right over [here!](https://the-sinnamon-roll-writes.tumblr.com/)


End file.
